I need a job. I took the time off of work at Bell's in January, but I don't think I can afford to go, let alone know how to get there. Bah.

I think I have now broken almost all of the ten commandments. This should solidify my spot in hell, if I believed in it.

I'm going to go shower and try to brush the dreds out of my hair. And then go to work. And try not to explode.

This one goes out to Helen Cooper...

Pockets, pockets, pockets,
Everybody's got 'em;
You can put stuff in 'em,
And they hold a lotta stuff!

Barack!

I haven't been this happy in a really long time.

Hey there, little man...

...Get outta my frying pan, I got bigger fish to fry than you.

Back! I've had too much drinking to do to write on this thing.

I miss Lincoln, but it sure is beeeeeautiful here right now. It's like, 78 degrees today. FER REALZ.

I just got handed some new music, so that's pretty fun.

I've completely given up on that dreamy boy. Like, for real this time. Promise. I've moved onto bigger and better trouble. And I definitely mean trouble. Ask me about it sometime.

I slept until 1 p.m. today. I'm still in my pajamas. I sure do love days off. If you haven't yet, here are some things you should do this week:

1) Listen to The Ditty Bops
2) Eat a peanut butter and pickle sandwich
3) Give someone a high-five.
4) Drink some whiskey.
5) Write me a letter or draw me a picture and mail it to me! That would be super fun.

Why I can't stop having a crush on him:

Him: "blah blah blah, now it's ours" in reference to something in the kitchen to a fellow employee.

Me (Over hearing this, and interrupting): No milk will ever be, our milk.

Him: But they donst gotsta know about it.

And bam! Back there again.

Fkjretertmgls.

Guh.

I think I'll try to avoid him at all costs for the rest of my life.

Someone come distract me, please!

You MUST wear your sunglasses in the bar.

Yikes.

Look at how much fun we are!

Dave and I

At the Middle Villa

Driving home, as safely as possible.

Roommate Tad and NaDean

Darrough, myself and Ryan. Whoa.

Colleen and Vicki

I vaguely remember having a whole post written out, and then it not being published due to lack of internet connection last night. So, that's probably for the better. I did too many drugs and drank too much alcohol, per usual. I had a smashing good time, though. I hung out with my mother all day in Grand Rapids at this restaraunt called the Blue Water Grill. Sat outside by the lake, polished off about a bottle and a half of wine, and I think actually got a little sunburnt. Wild and crazy!

Then we stopped at this little bar in Middleville, called the Middle Villa, where apparently my grandparents came and had dinner years and years ago. I'll post some pictures shortly.

Then we went (not my mom and I, Aba and I) to a little bonfire, where we proceeded to spin into oblivion while playing hide-and-seek, in the dark, inside and out, in a place where I had never been.

And then we made it to last call at Harvey's. Where (!) my roommate was having beers after 100 days of sobriety. Pretty fun.

So, after drinking and drugging for, say, 14 hours straight, I feel like shit this morning. Yay being a responsible human being!

I do however, have all day off today. Yeah!

I don't have time to write too much but...

I just received a spam e-mail from "Cedric" and the subject line said...

"Restore power to your groins".

Ha!

I'm off to complete the 2nd half of my work day. Itsa gonna bea party! Schedule this week:

Today: 9-4, 530-1030
Tomorrow: 9-4, 6-1030
Friday: 9-4, 5-12 ish
Saturday: 9-4, 5-12ish
Sunday: 1030-330, book club!

I did get my first big paycheck from Bell's today, though. That definitely lifted my spirits and hopefully my bank account. Boo-ya mother fucker!

Out!

This list is not exclusive

I'd go the whole wide world

The weather today makes for a fantastic day off, although I wish I hadn't spent the first 4 hours of it on my couch. Tad and I did get some quality Team Elmwood time in, though. But really, folks, it's 63 degrees out and there isn't a cloud in the sky.

I spoke with Brian last night (which reminds me I need to speak with Brandon) but! he arrived safely in Austin with Cody. So, watch out Texas because i'm not sure if you're prepared for Hurricane Brody. See what I did there? Clever.

I think it's about time to get the fuck outta Dodge. Especially before winter comes. Maybe I'll make my way down to Texas too. Now that I think about it, it would be a nice Vacation destination. Ellen, what are you doing for winter break? Eh? Eh? Think about it.

God damn it's nice outside.

P.S If you haven't had a peanut butter and pickle sandwich, do. It'll change your life.

P.P.S That image was the first thing that came up when I googled "Winter Break, Austin Texas", so if that's any indication as to what it would be like, sign me up. Those kids are having a fucking blast.

Oh boy, oh jeeze.

:

Yeah!

Happy Birthday, Cullen!

Hungry.

I have one dollar. And I'm getting sort of tired of cream cheese and spinach sandwiches.

I've been drinking a lot more lately and making an ass out of my self a lot more. This needs to stop.

Tad and I (and his friend) were up until 4 a.m. last night, while Tad played d.j. and did air guitar. It was a pretty good time.

Today at 5 marks the end of my vacation (I had yesterday and this morning off) and i'll be working a fuck ton. Here's a little look-see at my schedule:

Tonight:5-10ish
Wednesday: 9-4, 530-10(ish)
Thursday: 9-4, 5-10(ish)
Friday:9-4, 530-12(ish)
Saturday:9-4, 5-12(ish)
Sunday: Harvest dinner! <--- which is going to be totally fun, but I totally have to be up and at 'em before 9 to get things started.

I'm probably going to be fairly cranky, so if you don't want to hear me whine, then I suggest staying at a reasonable distance.

Still hungry. If you want to buy me lunch today, let me know!

P.S. I'm almost finished with Everything is Illuminated, and it really is one of the best books I've ever read. Ever. I really hope this book club thing works out because there's really only one thing I like better than drinking and talking about books.

My life's soundtrack, according the shuffle on iTunes.

Opening Credits: The dream of Evan and Chan by Ben Gibbard
First Day At School: Hell Hound on My Trail by Eric Clapton
Falling In Love: I am trying to break your heart by Wilco (Ha!)
Breaking Up: The battle of evermore by Led Zeppelin
1st date: My mathematical mind by Spoon
Prom: My Party by Kings of Leon
Life's OK: Dropkick the punks by The Faint
Driving: Small figures in a vast expanse by Rilo Kiley
Flashback: I think I need a new heart by The Magnetic Fields
Getting Back Together: War of Man by Neil Young
Wedding: Mean Mr. Mustard by The Beatles
Final Battle: Fix You by Coldplay
Death Scene: Robbers by The Cold War Kids
Funeral Song: House of Cards by Radiohead
End Credits: Problems by The Sex Pistols

So, that's pretty funny.

I almost forgot! (these aren't in order, because I'm bad at the internet)

The dining room, ish.

My new bike! 25 dollars!
One of the several maps in the house. And the front door. And part of the couch.
The view from the front porch, where I sit. A lot.
The front of the house!
A peek into my room.
My room!
My pretty doorknob!
The bathroom. It's lavender.
The living room!


Woo!

I would really like a sandwich.

I had a whole post written out, and then the stupid internet stopped working and it didn't save.

I just had to sneeze but yawned instead. A very weird sensation.

Anyway! I've been sort of ill the past few days, but that, my friends, has not kept me from rocking hard. It is in fact a full moon and I cannot be held responsible for my actions.

I feel so much better now that I'm riding a bike again (sans the weird tingling sensation I have in the muscles I haven't used in about a year). I've stopped wearing make-up and am still going strong on my meatless diet. I feel really good, except that constant "I feel like I have to sneeze but the fucker won't come out, feeling".

I've also started working two jobs again, which feels more comfortable. Plus! this job has totally sweet benefits. Like, a free six-pack of beer a week. And free shows. And I'm surrounded by hippies. Ah, home. Although, it will never, ever replace Grateful Bread. I really want some soup. Will someone send me some Morroccan tomato and a cheese scone please?

In other news, I'd like to give a KFRX dedication to Helen Cooper and Keeley Dunn. 'Cause them girls are kicking August's ass.

I need a haircut in a really bad way.

What kind of fuckery is this?

I'm fairly certain that a good sign of my hair being too long is that it gets caught in my armpits. Like, a lot. Gross.

I'm going to the farmers market in the morning to get flowers to pretty this place up.

Sleeeeepy. More tomorrow.

I wouldn't care if I was dead if I had the chance to hold your hand

All moved in. I'll post some pictures soon as I fancy the place up. And maybe a photo shoot with my bald roommate.

We ate sushi last night. It was long overdue.

Had beers with the dreamy boy.

I have to take a drug test tomorrow for the Bell's job. Eek.

Hopefully I get my bike back this week.

Before I moved yesterday my phone soaked up some condensation. BOOO. So, please please please send me your phone number or something if you ever want to be friends again.

Hungry.

Preparedness

I don't think I've been prepared for anything in my life and I'm definitely not prepared for moving on Wednesday. My tiny one bedroom is chock full of shit. I'm going to try to make this move as temporary as possible.

I don't own any Jason Mraz albums or anything, but whenever I hear him on the radio or whatever, I can't help but bob my head around and do a goofy dance (Helen Cooper can back me up on this). I don't think I will ever get over my tiny crush on pop music.

I'm going to a going away party for someone I don't know today with my mom.

As much as I really don't want to move out and start spending money again, I am sort of excited to have a little bit of my own space. Or, I guess better said, I'm more excited to not have to report back to anyone if I don't come home at night. And! I'll have the convenience of being able to walk anywhere I need to go downtown. I miss that about Lincoln.

Things with The Dreamy Boy never went anywhere. I think I've finally laid it to rest. Until he looks at me again, anyway.

Does anyone else hate that its already August? Where the fuck did summer go?

HA!

I danced with former Mayor and current state representative Robert Jones (D) last night, while drinking champagne at Websters. This is him:

So here it is

I bought a bike today. It's probably 20 years old and its yellow. I got it for 25 dollars at the gospel mission thrift store.

I also found a place to live in town for a couple months. The place is actually really sweet and really cheap and really close to work which is really good. So, hopefully this works out well. The biggest downfall is that I can't bring Kevin. But, he's going to stay at my parents house in which I will visit as often as possible. Because he is my child.

So, things are sort of looking up, even though Kristi left this morning. This will though, help me save money. Probably. This has been one shitty week but hopefully its back on the incline.

I totaled my car and live a 20 minute drive from my job, on a good day. This is proposing some issues. I haven't decided what i'm going to do yet. My father wants me to borrow money from the bank to fix my car or buy a new one. My credit won't allow me to do that. Here are some of the options i've been weighing over in my head:

1) Quit my job in Kalamazoo and get one in Richland. This may be difficult because of Michigan's economy and the lack of job availability anywhere. With this option, I can walk to work and continue to live in my parents house, for free. Free food, free rent, free laundry, free internet.

2) Buy a bicycle this week and bike to work in Kalamazoo, while continuing to live at my parents. This would be a sweet option, but it'll still take me at least an hour to bike to work and i'd have to take one of the busier roads.

3) Find a room to rent in Kalamazoo and keep my job (and maybe potentially find another). I've gotten an offer from a friend of a friend who has an extra bedroom in which he would rent to me for $225 a month. This sort of set-up would be optimal, because I wouldn't have to sign a lease, and I could just do it for a couple months while I save up money for another car.

FUCK.

This week has been up and down in some of the worst ways. I just really wanted to get my life together here and it seems to be just as (if not more) stressful than when I was in Lincoln.

So, if anyone has any other ideas as to what I should do, please let me know.

Yup yup yup!

Oh, man. Ohhhh, man. Oh, man, oh, man, oh man.

I just can't quit being happy right now.

In other news, I have an interview today! I'm totally pumped, because this is the first time since I was 18 that I haven't had at least 2 jobs.

Ain't nobody gonna hold me down.

My cat is still the cutest cat in the history of cats.

I'm not even kidding. He's sleeping next to me on the couch with his little arm curled around my leg, like hes spooning. Its so god damn cute.

Two of the loves of my life are together tonight while I'm stuck here. I told one of them to do a shot for me tonight. The other is moving across an ocean in a couple weeks. I want nothing more than to have these two girls be in my life for the rest of time.

I learned some information tonight that put things in my head that I feel bad about. And that's as much as I'm going to say, because I feel bad. But now I've got these ideas, you see. And its probably not what you think it is. And nothing will ever come of it. But man, it would be sexy.

Things with the dreamy boy have gotten more complicated (but nothing that he has any real part of) and I'm not exactly sure how my brain is working. It was this time almost exactly a year ago when I went completely fucking nuts. I've been thinking about that a lot lately and the cause and effect of it all. When I sit by myself for too long I start to think about it and start to feel it again, and I'm not sure why. I'm probably just psyching myself out and have a whole new set of issues I'm trying to deal with and chalking them up to be the same caliber.

What if I drove to Detroit to see you for 45 minutes tomorrow?

Dandelion wine

I spent the majority of the day drinking coffee and smoking cigarettes while reading. It was really, really nice. I picked up some new (to me) books, which include: The siren of the Titans by Vonnegut, Anna Karina by Tolstoy, The sun also rises by Hemingway and a meatless protein cookbook. When I was at 4th Coast, a man came and sat at my table and showed my his antique Chinese coins. They were pretty cool. And then he talked to me about how when he was in the Philippines he was kidnapped by guerrillas who wanted him to turn their dope into hash. Which reminds me. I need to do a little research on Colonel Joe Westnedge. Plus, there's a boy that works there (4th coast) who was playing Billie Holiday and smoking cigarettes behind the counter. It was totally hot.

Work today at 3:30. My parents have been out of town since yesterday morning and in true fashion by sister hasn't been around, which makes it feel like I'm living by myself again. I really like it. Kevin and I laid around in bed this morning for awhile, which doesn't happen anymore because there's usually people up and around for him to play with.

Batman was totally awesome. Now I'm actually upset that Heath Ledger is dead because apparently he knows how to act. It's really too bad.

There must be a lot of worms in our yard, because its raining and there's tons of birds walking around out there.

With my eyes on the prize and my mind on you.

When Kevin sits at the door and cries because he wants to chase the animals, its about the cutest thing ever. His primal instincts to chase and hunt things are running rampant through his tiny body, even though i'm absolutely certain if faced with another animal, he'd be a fraidy cat.

It's really hot here. I generally feel uncomfortable and unnatural in central air, but it does feel a lot better than sitting in the sweltering heat with nothing but a single window unit and a box fan.

I'm so terribly excited about the new potential move. So is Kevin. I am also terribly excited about taking classes again.

I finished Fear and Loathing in Las Vegas today. I felt like I was on drugs the entire time.

Next: Lunar Park by Bret Easton Ellis, unless anyone has any suggestions. I'd really like to read Everything is Illuminated, but it's too buried behind couches and other boxes in storage that i'll have to wait. I'm too scared to start 100 Years of Solitude. I'm not sure why.

The Distillers put me in a productive mood. I cleaned my room AND did laundry today.

I'm going to look up stuffs about Brooklyn now. EEK.

Getting my life together

I registered for a couple fall classes today at KVCC, which means if I go through with it, i'll be here until at least december 16th. I'm not saving money as well as I thought I would be, so it doesn't seem like I'd be getting out of here much earlier anyway. Maybe I can set a goal to be out by the new year. New year, new city. So far i've signed up for 3 sociology classes, one on South Africa, one on race and ethnicity relations and another beginning sociology class (since I failed the first time).

I also started my resume. I'm really disappointed that the only things i'm proud of I did in highschool. It looks like i've sat on my ass for the last 4 years. Which I have.

I want to start gardening more. I've seem to lost all of that initial motivation and plans I had before I moved here. I need to get my butt in gear, for sure.

I'm hungry.

Fleetwood Mac makes me really happy. It really does.

Seriously.

I've noticed (and this probably isn't just me) that as soon as I pull up in the driveway, a song that I really enjoy and haven't heard in awhile comes on the radio. Terrible luck that way.

Today was Sprout's last day open. Sad day. I had the quiche for the third week in a row.

I'm going to look for big kid jobs on Craig's list now.

WHOA.

So, it's been a substantial amount of time since i've written about meaningless crap thats going on in my life. I know you've missed it. You've missed a ridiculous interview with one Mr. Gatten. You've missed the 4 day drunken endeavor Keeley and I endured. You missed...

Well, you missed that. I, uh, went to a baseball game on July 3rd, drank beer and ate peanuts. For freedom. On the 4th I sat on a boat all day and didnt wear my swimsuit, so I held my pee for 4 hrs. Drank beer for freedom. Kristi and I had a slumber party, for freedom. I think I have a crush on a girl, but only for freedom.

Anyway.

My favorite brunch place ever is closing for good after next Sunday. This is terrible news. Not only for brunch, but because not only do I really like people who work there, but they have incredible food. INCREDIBLE.

I'm really broke. Like, in a really bad way. And I want to come back to Lincoln not only to throw Helen Cooper (hard H) a graduation party/dinner, but to celebrate Ms. Sara's being of age. I just, I have a really hard time saving money. I know this is a HUGE surprise to you guys, but its actually really tough. And! after giving a 40 year old man a lecture about how he's only making excuses to not better himself, i've finally realized i'm doing the same. Only 18 years his junior. So, here's to making good decisions. And writing incomplete sentences. And Helen Cooper, who is in love with a fantastic man.

I hope you guys got my lame ass postcards, because I sent them with love. And I love you guys. And its not because of the 2 beers and the glass of wine. I totally swear.

Blog blog blarg

I'm going to stop writing about boys.

I finished High Fidelity yesterday. Pretty, pretty, good.

Keeley comes in 3 days!

I got my economic stimulus check today! 600 buckaroo's.

Work tonight, tomorrow and Wednesday, then I'm off until Monday.

Well, well, well.

So, I basically double booked myself last night. When the dreamy boy didn't call, I told The Married Guy's Brother-in-Law that we could meet up. Not even 2 minutes later, the dreamy boy called.

So, I went and met up with TMGBIL and his friends at The Green Top. He's nice enough, but there were some definite deal breakers. You just can't trust anyone who doesn't think Jurassic Park is a great movie. We then (just TMGBIL and I) went next door to Ouzo's so we could have a more private conversation (his idea, not mine [the dreamy boy still hadn't called back to meet up]). Finally after trying to feign interest for another 45 minutes or so (and having to dodge a kiss when we hug good-bye) the dreamy boy calls and rescues me.

We went and had beers and per usual, all of a sudden its past one and he asks if I want to come over and drink a few beers. He invited me over. He invited me over. At one a.m.

And then nothing. It's like, two people can be just friends. Who does that?

Either way, I'm still probably going to shamelessly flirt. And I might call TMGBIL. So only as long as he doesn't try to get me to ride the bull at Monaco Bay. Not kidding.

Slamma lamma ding dong

I was in a pretty big pickle at the beginning of the night. At the end of the night, after he invited me back, when I asked him if it was a waste of time when I shamelessly flirted with him, and he said yes, I got it.

I get it.

So stop looking at me like that, please.

Anyway, I'll tell you the whole story tomorrow. Its a really good one.

Because, why wouldn't it be?

Fuckers.

This weeks Post Secret made me drop tears, because my father doesn't love my mother anymore.

That dreamy boy humors me with text messages, but still rarely gives me the time of day.

I keep dreaming about Brian and still keep pushing it aside. I told him I dreamt about him a lot tonight and then told him about my parents. I think I want to marry him. As long as that dreamy boy doesn't come around. Brian said I should touch that dreamy boys private parts.

Helen, I know I haven't called you back, but I listen to your voice mail every 2 days and it makes me so happy just to hear that greeting.

That married boy that I work with that wants me to be his girlfriend is trying to set me up with his brother-in-law. Is that weird? The brother-in-law and I have a lunch date on Wednesday. He's kinda cute. Sorta. In like, a really tall, preppy, blonde sorta way.

I still really like that dreamy boy. We talked about unicorns yesterday.

Your tax dollars

bought me a double Jameson and ginger ale last night. Thanks guys!

But really, some guy bought Kristi, Cate and I a round last night with his army money.

I don't know if it does this for you fellow bloggers (ew) but, I really like that next to the "labels for this post" part, scooters is the first example. Awesome.

I just sent the following text message:

"What are your plans tonight? Any chance I can dazzle you with my wit and charm over a puzzle and some beer?"

Really, if that line doesn't work, I quit.

I am in such a great mood. This blog is dedicated to Helen Cooper. 'Cause I luv that gurl.

I'm reading High Fidelity right now. It's the college man's Catcher in the Rye. I swear to god.

YEAH!

I know this is a really important time to hang out with my mom and be the nicest I can be, but it's really hard when she constantly annoys the hell out of me.

There's some shit goin' down.

I've decided to take a week off from boozin' and tobacco and caffeine. Starting this morning. Wish me luck.

In other news, there something goin down in my house right now.

Moab the beagle terrier.

I had the day off yesterday. It consisted of:
-Sleeping until noon. (Totally awesome, although I've been doing that more and more lately)
-Going to a couple classes for work. (A beer session included, so I got sorta tipsy for free)
-And then that dreamy boy called me and invited me over for beers. (Also totally awesome. We did a 750 piece puzzle and walked his dog). Then it was midnight.

And then I came home and went to bed.

I have such a huge crush on that dreamy boy. He'll be wooed soon enough.

Man.

I've been having really elaborate dreams lately. I had one last night where I was in a modern day Jewish concentration camp, and I escaped very much like I was in Shawshank Redemption. It was pretty wild.

I feel like I have more news, but its probably not something I want on the internet.

Cullen: I wish you would've answered your phone.

Ellen: You and Doug and Helen and Poyer should all drive up and come visit when Keeley does.

Doug and Helen and Poyer: Convince Ellen to do this. Plus, thanks for that text message and group phone call tonight.

Breakfast tomorrow with my life coach and then im playing in a softball game for the first time in 6 years.

I still have a crush on that dreamy boy and he winked at me at work tonight.

Summmmmmmmer time.

Yesterday was a pretty good day, as far as days go. I watched my baby sister graduate highschool. I went to the official beer garden opener at Bell's. Saw the band Steppin' in it. Fucking rocked. The garden at Bell's is now in my top places to be with the likes of the patio at Yia Yia's and the 'patio' at O'Rourkes. I wish you all could see it. Not a place for Helen Cooper though, they only serve beer (but really really great beer).

Back to work today. The married guy wants me to go to the strip club with him and his buddies tomorrow.

I cannot escape the drama.

I don't want to get on a soap box here, but...

I've got some things I want to talk about.

Has anyone ever heard that lame ass saying that goes something like "Love like you've never lost, something about singing like no ones listening, dance like no ones watching" and some other bull shit?

Heres my beef. Fuck that.

How about: Love like, you've been hurt before, and it totally sucks and its going to happen again, because we're humans and we fuck up. And don't sing if you suck. And if you are, at least drink a lot, so you have something to blame it on. And probably something else, just as cynical. Im just really tired of this mamby pamby bull shit.

I've become jaded on people being in love forever, because it won't happen. Humans aren't meant to mate for life, and I think ive finally come to terms with it.

I wish I had something positive to report on in Michigan, but its just made me realize more things.

I'm still moving to Baltimore.

Dreams

I had several pretty elaborate/meaningful dreams last night. I don't know the order, but this is what took place:

1) Background info: Over the course of the last few years, whenever I do the vegetarian diet, I always always always break for chicken wings. It's the one meat product I have a very hard time controlling myself with, even though they make me sick as a dog every time.

So! In this dream, I was sitting at a table with my Kalamazoo life coach (a real human being, just so you know) and I had these hot wings in my hands, with the perfect coating of bleu cheese on top. And I sat there, with these wings in my hand and I remember thinking how badly I wanted the wings. I got as close to my mouth without eating them, and just as I was about to give in, I threw them down and didn't give into temptation. I think this means something about how maybe in real life, im trying to not give into something that I strongly desire that I know isn't good for me. Or, it could mean that I just have a huge fucking craving for chicken wings. Cause I do.

2) I rode my bike (which is non-existant) to Lincoln from Kalamazoo and made it in under 7 hours. I remember being amazed that I could travel to Lincoln faster than I could in a car. When I got to Lincoln, I went to Iron Brush and hung out with all the dudes there. The only one that I distinctly recognized was Nate, the guy who did my tattoo there. I remember that part being a lot of fun. I'm not sure if I think this dream meant anything, other than I wish I could get to Lincoln in a speedy manner.

3) This dream was really elaborate and involved. I don't remember a whole lot of the details anymore, but it had to do with people I work with at Food Dance, and there was a big money conspiracy, where a bunch of money came up missing. I was absolutely sure it was Dan (see: dreamy boy I went out to drinks with). Someone (Dan) had sent everyone on a wild goose chase in order to come up with this money, with this disc man and a cd with songs as clues so that we could find the said dough. In my head I knew it was Dan, but no one would believe me. When I went to re-play the cd a second time in order to try to figure things out, the disc man became a cell phone and Dan was on the other end. He ended up telling me he was infact the person who hid the money and I was right the entire time. He had hit it, so that it could be used for charity rather than it becoming dirty money (which apparently it would have if he wouldn't have stolen it). On the phone he told me he wanted to hide it where he knew I would find it for sure, and that he was staking out in Arkansas until the whole thing blew over. After everyone found the money, I was riding in the back seat of a car owned by this girl I work with, and I looked out the window and there was Dan, riding on a bike. When I went to look again, he turned into Jake Hoy-Elswick.

I'm not really sure as to why Dan turned into Jake. They have a few similarities (dred locks, really nice dudes) but that dream was fucking ridiculous.


I think i'm going to go see Sex and the City today. Also, Indiana Jones. Gonna be a good day.

Have you purchased your tickets?

I woke up this morning around 930, had coffee and baileys from a french press on a Coleman stove and a beer in my hand by 1030. Camping with rednecks was so fun. I spent the majority of my Memorial day drinking high life lite, taking swigs off an Old Grand dad whiskey and watching boys with no shirts on shoot guns. Sometimes I find myself really attracted the hillbilly boys. I think its their lack of care for decency and fancy pants. Wranglers and cheap beer and dirt and throwin' shit at shit. I'm totally into it.

Hey gurl

Kalamazoo is looking up. I have a really great life coach who has really great friends and the same great drinking problem I do.

Theres a 3-day camping extravaganza this weekend, so i'm going to head out to Plainwell with my drinkin skirt on and a lawn chair. Should be a good time.

I applied for a position in the market at Food Dance, so hopefully I can get some more hours in and save money at a more rapid pace. If I had a million dollars, I'd come back to Lincoln this weekend because I've got the next 3 days off. Although, two of those would be spent driving. Maybe that'd be a bad idea. At any rate, on the inner office application I finished with "Plus, I'm totally awesome." So, hopefully they give me the position.

Im drinking a bloody mary right now. Pretty good.

My dad's really cranky today.

That dreamy boy came and had a drink with me on friday. The wooeing hasn't worked thus far, but we're not really on a time crunch here. He'll come around.

I've been running pretty regularly lately, so that's good. I find myself with more energy and my pants are fitting better. 'Bout time. If only I could quit the beer and fried cheese, things would go along a little smoother.

Camping!

Baltimore

New plans! I've changed my mind about the southwest. We're going to try the northeast first. And by we, I mean, me. And whoever wants to go with. I spoke to Brian briefly yesterday via the text message, and he feigned interest for like, a minute, but we'll see. Baltimore! In October!

As long as I can figure out a way to save money.

Things I need to pay for before I move again:
-All my debts
-Buy a bike. I need a bike. NEEEED.
-My dad
-A new half sleeve. NEED NEED NEED.

These total about...4,000. Do you think I can make that before October, plus money to move? Maybe? Maybe? Probably. I just really, really need to stop spending money. That trip to Lincoln sorta (really) drained my bank account. I'll start taking donations to get me outta Michigan (and into your car) as soon as you guys start sending them. K. Thnx.

If I talk to you in real life, and I start talking about spending money on anything but the aforementioned things, yell at me. Threaten to steal my first born and kill my family.

Or something.

Cranky.

I've been in a mood all day. I want people to stop talking to me. I don't feel comfortable in my own skin. My jeans don't fit. I can't finish a thought or a sentence or a glass of water. I'm still broke. I'm whiney.

Tomorrow I will:

Run (jog quickly) on the tredmill

Do some grocery shopping for my family

Try to finish my Vonnegut book

Clean my room

Print out my tattoo research

Not be a crabby pee pants.

Im watching a pot never boil.

I got on the tred mill today for the first time in a couple weeks. Felt good. Felt real good.

I'm going to Chicago tomorrow to visit Cullen. I'm pretty pumped.

So, I think i'm going to try my damndest (damndest?) to get back to Lincoln right around Labor day. I don't want to stick around too long, maybe just enough time to recruit someone to go somewhere else with me. I'm pretty good at doing things by myself, but maybe someone else wants to come too? I'm not really sure who that person could be. Almost everyone I know is in some sort of commited relationship, whether it be with a human, school or work. We'll see though.


I'm going to try to finish Armageddon in Retrospect either today or tomorrow, because i'd really like to get started on 100 Years of Solitude.

This is boring.

I want to buy a bike. And a vespa. And a tattoo sleeve. I've got new ideas. All of these things cost a lot of money.

K, BYE.

Sticks and stones

Sometimes after I enter a title, I push enter thinking its going to take me down to this box to write, but every time it just publishes it. I still am no good at the internet.

Spending time in Lincoln was very drunk. And very fun. Both bad and good decisions were made, some happy, some bummer. Overall, very fun. I'd like to give a shout-out (a kfrx dedication, maybe?) to Ms. Amy for graduating. I think if I had to pick any song to dedicate to her, it would be... hm. I'll get back to that.

I went to the World's Largest Truck Stop in Iowa on my way home. It was sorta awesome. They had a huge semi IN the building. And a dentist. Which is probably good with all the meth truckers use to stay awake.

At my cousins wedding last night I lectured (weird, I know) a woman for being overly rude to these two women cleaning the bathrooms. They couldn't speak english very well, and she told them they should be fired and that if they couldn't speak english they should leave the fucking country. Don't you worry, I gave her a talking to. And then her husband got mad at me for stepping in the middle. And then my redneck aunt told me she'd never been so proud of me before; which was sorta from left field.

I split my pants today bending over to clean something. I think thats a sign ive gained far too much weight. To my own credit though, they were old jeans and worn out anyway, but shit makes a girl feel like a heafer.

This is long. I miss everyone. I wish I could be in Lincoln to see Helen in Cabaret. Helen, when are you in Cabaret?

Yeesh.

Okay, I realize this is the third time today i'm posting, but I just remembered I had a dream last night I was hit in the face with a hammer and my entire face bruised up and there was a moment that it felt like it was puffed up, literally like a big balloon. I remember being able to run my hands over my face and it felt sort of elastic-y and rubbery. Anyway, im going to do some tattoo research now.

Let down.

'Cause, duh.

I do not have a title for this entry.

It's nice to be excited about something again. I hope i'm not building myself up for let down here.

I come home in 10 days. 10 days!

I hope Ellen's been doing her research and we get to get tattoos when im home. Here is a list of things I want to do when i'm back in Lincoln (in no particular order):

1) Watch AG and eat Isles pizza with Cullen
2) Visit Mark at Yia Yias
3) Go to dads beer night on Tuesday
4) See Helen and Doug and Ellen and Amy and Jonathan and Jessica and Mat and Nathan and probably a million other people.
5) Visit Mat at Bison Witches.
6) O'Rourkes

I need to find a graduation gift for Amy. If anyone has any ideas, i need 'em. If you're reading this, im probably excited to see you too.

Stop me if you've heard this one before...

So, I went out with that boy last night. It was very fun. One drink turned into 5, and 6 hrs later we left with dinner plans for later this week.

Things I found out about him:
-He was a kitchen manager at a vegan restraunt in Hawaii.
-He has an automotive engineering degree from Western.
-He's dreamy.

Anyway, so here's the part that sounds oh-so familiar to my life. He currently lives with his ex-girlfriend. Sound like anyone else you know?

Such is life. I'm sure he'll be wooed (wooed? is that the proper spelling?) by how totally awesome I am and it wont matter anyway.

Oh boy, oh boy, oh boy.

I tried to ask a boy out for a drink yesterday and I got scared. I think this is probably the first time in a couple years that i've been scared to talk to a boy.

The Buzz house as been quite off for the last few days. I think my dad almost left my mom, but he came back this morning after a 2 day hiatus. No one's said a thing about it, and I don't know how to bring it up or if I even want to.

My cat is still the greatest cat to ever have lived.

I come home in 13 days!

Happy Earth Day!!

Some things i've been thinking about/noticing/appreciating:
1. To add an additional hashbrown at McDonalds during breakfast is only .50 cents. That is pretty awesome, because they are definitely the only thing worth eating at McDonalds, for breakfast. *

2. Apparently, yesterday was a WWE event and some of the presidential candidates videoed in, for some reason or another (trying to sway the vote of the neanderthal, I suppose?). Anyway, During Senator Clinton's video, she gave permission to call her Hil-Rod in honor of the event. Hil-Rod, you may have just swayed this neanderthal's vote.

3. My sister and I went to Walgreens the other night and while passing a van with a pro-life bumper sticker, she yelled out "You're an asshole!". It was pretty great.

4. There were 3 girls sitting at the bar at work last night celebrating a birthday, drinking wine and having dinner. It made me miss my girls a lot. A lot, a lot.

5. Last night I thought about that time that you and I slow danced in the hallway after we got back together. It was a nice memory.

6. Mat, there are no bartenders in Richland or Kalamazoo I enjoy talking to as much as you.

I think that's about it, for now. I think i'm going to have a 4 cheese lean pocket for lunch. Get excited!

*The egg McMuffin is also really great, sans the meat, but easily made at home.

I am so good at sandwiches.

No, seriously.

Sigh

I just finished the best sandwich i've ever made. Ever.

Check it:

A blend of fresh basil pesto and artichoke spread
Melted mozzarella
Sliced tomatoes
Lettuce
Sour Cream
All on toasted wheat.

Shit was bomb. And a glass of cabernet to guzzle down with it.

Perfect end to a long night of training and making other people money.

Im a workin' girl, and it ain't even on tha streeeeetz.

I officially got the job today at Food Dance. So, that's cool. I also! got my new J.Crew dress in the mail today. Let me lay it out for you:

Its so damn cute. Its in the color of: Sour Lemon. And it has pockets. It's really kind of depressing that the most exciting thing to happen to me this week is this new dress. But jesus, its cute.

I tried the veggie chicken patties tonight. Jury's still out. French frieds though? Totally delicious.

I got on the tredmill for the first time in probably, a year, yesterday. I got to the mile mark and kinda wanted to die. I think im going to start doing yoga, but don't really know which route I should take. My dad has a "golfing for yoga" dvd, but I don't know. I don't golf.

I need to find a tennis partner here. Do you think they have listings on craigs list?

Coding, html, blah blah blah

So, I went to Rockford last night which is just north of Grand Rapids, to have drinks with a friend and his co-workers. It was about the most eye-gouging experience i've had in awhile. Work talk is definitely not as much fun when you don't have a job. I need a job. Bad. I think im down to my last 20 bucks.

I have a second interview tomorrow afternoon for Food Dance, and I really, really, hope it goes well. I need to get out of the house. Like, in a bad way.

On a brighter note, baseball season is upon us, and in true fashion, the Tigers blow. But at least I can watch 152 of their games this season, so thats totally fucking sweet.

I think im running out of things to talk about. I got drunk last night, surprise surprise. And the night before. And probably tonight. When in Rome, right?

He pooped! He really pooped!

Thank god. He's actually started eating a little too, which is good.

I went around and applied at restraunts and bars today to find myself a job. I have an interview already tomorrow at this restraunt called Food Dance. Seems kinda funky, but we'll see. Kinda stoked about the interview already. It's probably because i'm so awesome. I'm really more interested in this bar called Waldo's thats right on the Western Michigan campus, and this english bar and restraunt that specializes in scotches. We'll see I guess.

I went to Best Buy today to find the new M. Ward/ Zooey Descanel (sp) collaboration, and to no surprise they didn't have it. So, I says to the guy, I says :

Me: "So, I know you're not supposed to answer this, but, uh, is there any local record store or anything where I can find smaller labels?"
Him: "Uhhhh, what?"
Me: "You know, more, I guess, underground music? Things that aren't on big name labels."
Him: "You could try that party store, I think they sell cd's."
Me: "...Thanks."

GAH I HATE IT HERE. They have to have something, right? RIGHT?

Here didly dee, here didly doo

So, we made it. Its okay here, I guess. Kevin isn't really sure what to think, but I guess I don't really either.

We stayed in this hotel room last night in Princeton, Iowa- hometown of Ronald Reagan. Sexy. The room smelled like a god damned ash tray. Kevin didn't come out from underneath the bed for about 4 hours. I don't think he's shit in 3 days. Laundry today and tomorrow, job hunt begins Monday. Also, I need to get on the tredmill or somethin', cause home girl's put on some pounds. It's not going to be easy to lose weight either, with my mother shoving food down my throat. I think she's making a cake this afternoon. It's a really good thing I don't like cake.

After re-reading this i've realized that I am a) very boring and b) not a great writer. Shit.

FUCK.

For whom the bell tolls.

So, i've recently decided even more I don't want to leave. This has to do with a list of reasons, but the following being most important (in no particular order):

1. The clashing church bells. From my high-dollar-real-estate-crappy-apartment I can hear the church bells from two different surrounding churches AT THE SAME TIME. While that may seem annoying and slightly redundant, totally endearing.

2. A boy with a beard and a static filled house.

3. The 3 girls in this city that don't make me want to tear my hair out.

4. Drunkenly walking home throught "the core" at 2 a.m. knowing that i'm a-ok.

I'm sure the list is longer (in fact I know that it is), but i'm not at my sappiest or most alert. I just ate a semi-satisfying vegetarian (the #6) sandwich from Jimmy Juans (my second sandwich of the day) and am ready for a good nights rest, dreaming of the fantastic things ill be missing in this god forsaken state.

This is where you can revert to in order to remember how awesome I am.

Bloggy, blog, blog. I'm going to keep you (the reader) and myself, I suppose, updated on my life now that I won't be in the great state of Nebraska. Step numero uno, figure out how to remember my password.

11 days and counting.

I divulged information to Amy yesterday that I hadn't even admitted to myself; I do not want to leave. Apparently, from what i've been telling people, i'm only 40% excited/60% fucking bummed out. Oh well. Time to move on, start a new chapter, be fucking awesome in a new state, right?

I think once I get there, i'll stop talking to boys.