Dreams

I had several pretty elaborate/meaningful dreams last night. I don't know the order, but this is what took place:

1) Background info: Over the course of the last few years, whenever I do the vegetarian diet, I always always always break for chicken wings. It's the one meat product I have a very hard time controlling myself with, even though they make me sick as a dog every time.

So! In this dream, I was sitting at a table with my Kalamazoo life coach (a real human being, just so you know) and I had these hot wings in my hands, with the perfect coating of bleu cheese on top. And I sat there, with these wings in my hand and I remember thinking how badly I wanted the wings. I got as close to my mouth without eating them, and just as I was about to give in, I threw them down and didn't give into temptation. I think this means something about how maybe in real life, im trying to not give into something that I strongly desire that I know isn't good for me. Or, it could mean that I just have a huge fucking craving for chicken wings. Cause I do.

2) I rode my bike (which is non-existant) to Lincoln from Kalamazoo and made it in under 7 hours. I remember being amazed that I could travel to Lincoln faster than I could in a car. When I got to Lincoln, I went to Iron Brush and hung out with all the dudes there. The only one that I distinctly recognized was Nate, the guy who did my tattoo there. I remember that part being a lot of fun. I'm not sure if I think this dream meant anything, other than I wish I could get to Lincoln in a speedy manner.

3) This dream was really elaborate and involved. I don't remember a whole lot of the details anymore, but it had to do with people I work with at Food Dance, and there was a big money conspiracy, where a bunch of money came up missing. I was absolutely sure it was Dan (see: dreamy boy I went out to drinks with). Someone (Dan) had sent everyone on a wild goose chase in order to come up with this money, with this disc man and a cd with songs as clues so that we could find the said dough. In my head I knew it was Dan, but no one would believe me. When I went to re-play the cd a second time in order to try to figure things out, the disc man became a cell phone and Dan was on the other end. He ended up telling me he was infact the person who hid the money and I was right the entire time. He had hit it, so that it could be used for charity rather than it becoming dirty money (which apparently it would have if he wouldn't have stolen it). On the phone he told me he wanted to hide it where he knew I would find it for sure, and that he was staking out in Arkansas until the whole thing blew over. After everyone found the money, I was riding in the back seat of a car owned by this girl I work with, and I looked out the window and there was Dan, riding on a bike. When I went to look again, he turned into Jake Hoy-Elswick.

I'm not really sure as to why Dan turned into Jake. They have a few similarities (dred locks, really nice dudes) but that dream was fucking ridiculous.


I think i'm going to go see Sex and the City today. Also, Indiana Jones. Gonna be a good day.

Have you purchased your tickets?

I woke up this morning around 930, had coffee and baileys from a french press on a Coleman stove and a beer in my hand by 1030. Camping with rednecks was so fun. I spent the majority of my Memorial day drinking high life lite, taking swigs off an Old Grand dad whiskey and watching boys with no shirts on shoot guns. Sometimes I find myself really attracted the hillbilly boys. I think its their lack of care for decency and fancy pants. Wranglers and cheap beer and dirt and throwin' shit at shit. I'm totally into it.

Hey gurl

Kalamazoo is looking up. I have a really great life coach who has really great friends and the same great drinking problem I do.

Theres a 3-day camping extravaganza this weekend, so i'm going to head out to Plainwell with my drinkin skirt on and a lawn chair. Should be a good time.

I applied for a position in the market at Food Dance, so hopefully I can get some more hours in and save money at a more rapid pace. If I had a million dollars, I'd come back to Lincoln this weekend because I've got the next 3 days off. Although, two of those would be spent driving. Maybe that'd be a bad idea. At any rate, on the inner office application I finished with "Plus, I'm totally awesome." So, hopefully they give me the position.

Im drinking a bloody mary right now. Pretty good.

My dad's really cranky today.

That dreamy boy came and had a drink with me on friday. The wooeing hasn't worked thus far, but we're not really on a time crunch here. He'll come around.

I've been running pretty regularly lately, so that's good. I find myself with more energy and my pants are fitting better. 'Bout time. If only I could quit the beer and fried cheese, things would go along a little smoother.

Camping!

Baltimore

New plans! I've changed my mind about the southwest. We're going to try the northeast first. And by we, I mean, me. And whoever wants to go with. I spoke to Brian briefly yesterday via the text message, and he feigned interest for like, a minute, but we'll see. Baltimore! In October!

As long as I can figure out a way to save money.

Things I need to pay for before I move again:
-All my debts
-Buy a bike. I need a bike. NEEEED.
-My dad
-A new half sleeve. NEED NEED NEED.

These total about...4,000. Do you think I can make that before October, plus money to move? Maybe? Maybe? Probably. I just really, really need to stop spending money. That trip to Lincoln sorta (really) drained my bank account. I'll start taking donations to get me outta Michigan (and into your car) as soon as you guys start sending them. K. Thnx.

If I talk to you in real life, and I start talking about spending money on anything but the aforementioned things, yell at me. Threaten to steal my first born and kill my family.

Or something.

Cranky.

I've been in a mood all day. I want people to stop talking to me. I don't feel comfortable in my own skin. My jeans don't fit. I can't finish a thought or a sentence or a glass of water. I'm still broke. I'm whiney.

Tomorrow I will:

Run (jog quickly) on the tredmill

Do some grocery shopping for my family

Try to finish my Vonnegut book

Clean my room

Print out my tattoo research

Not be a crabby pee pants.

Im watching a pot never boil.

I got on the tred mill today for the first time in a couple weeks. Felt good. Felt real good.

I'm going to Chicago tomorrow to visit Cullen. I'm pretty pumped.

So, I think i'm going to try my damndest (damndest?) to get back to Lincoln right around Labor day. I don't want to stick around too long, maybe just enough time to recruit someone to go somewhere else with me. I'm pretty good at doing things by myself, but maybe someone else wants to come too? I'm not really sure who that person could be. Almost everyone I know is in some sort of commited relationship, whether it be with a human, school or work. We'll see though.


I'm going to try to finish Armageddon in Retrospect either today or tomorrow, because i'd really like to get started on 100 Years of Solitude.

This is boring.

I want to buy a bike. And a vespa. And a tattoo sleeve. I've got new ideas. All of these things cost a lot of money.

K, BYE.

Sticks and stones

Sometimes after I enter a title, I push enter thinking its going to take me down to this box to write, but every time it just publishes it. I still am no good at the internet.

Spending time in Lincoln was very drunk. And very fun. Both bad and good decisions were made, some happy, some bummer. Overall, very fun. I'd like to give a shout-out (a kfrx dedication, maybe?) to Ms. Amy for graduating. I think if I had to pick any song to dedicate to her, it would be... hm. I'll get back to that.

I went to the World's Largest Truck Stop in Iowa on my way home. It was sorta awesome. They had a huge semi IN the building. And a dentist. Which is probably good with all the meth truckers use to stay awake.

At my cousins wedding last night I lectured (weird, I know) a woman for being overly rude to these two women cleaning the bathrooms. They couldn't speak english very well, and she told them they should be fired and that if they couldn't speak english they should leave the fucking country. Don't you worry, I gave her a talking to. And then her husband got mad at me for stepping in the middle. And then my redneck aunt told me she'd never been so proud of me before; which was sorta from left field.

I split my pants today bending over to clean something. I think thats a sign ive gained far too much weight. To my own credit though, they were old jeans and worn out anyway, but shit makes a girl feel like a heafer.

This is long. I miss everyone. I wish I could be in Lincoln to see Helen in Cabaret. Helen, when are you in Cabaret?

Yeesh.

Okay, I realize this is the third time today i'm posting, but I just remembered I had a dream last night I was hit in the face with a hammer and my entire face bruised up and there was a moment that it felt like it was puffed up, literally like a big balloon. I remember being able to run my hands over my face and it felt sort of elastic-y and rubbery. Anyway, im going to do some tattoo research now.